Do you sometimes feel upset or irritated at work or at home without knowing why? Many times those feelings disappear eventually, so you might not mind it much. However, it is true that we feel stressed while we’re upset. Wouldn’t it be great if we can manage our anger well and learn how to live with it? Let’s look at the steps that we can take.
“Why Was I Irritated?”
Isn’t it true that we often remember that we were angry, but we forget the reason why we were? But perhaps if we look back, the reasons can be pretty much the same things, such as…
- Too many people on the train
- A workmate makes some remarks on you
- You couldn’t find your room key when you were in hurry
If you know what often makes you angry, you’ll know how to avoid it. And you will be able to minimize the causes of your stresses.
WRITE YOUR ANGRY DIARY
By writing your angry diary, you will be able to analyze WHY you are angry and WHEN it happens. Take notes of the below:
- Write it as soon as you feel the anger. Use applications like “Notes” or “Memo”.
- Take note of the dates/time, the trigger of your anger, and the level of your anger. Make it simple. You don’t have to write in details about your feelings or the cause of anger.
Even though you may at first feel strange to write something like this when you’re upset, but doing this can prevent you from reacting in the situation emotionally, perhaps saying something you’ll later regret to the other party. So just turn around, take a deep breath, and write it down. It may take some time for you to make it a habit to write down your feelings, but that’s okay. Do it when you remember, and eventually it will be a part of your life.
Make a Weekly Analysis
After a week of taking your angry diary, try to look at and make an analysis. These are the things that you may want to check closely:
- Time and Place: Are you often irritated at the same time of the day or the place? Like, you are often stressed if you take a morning train or when you go to a certain eatery for lunch. If that’s the case, try to take a note that you’re easily feel the anger at that time, and try to relax, do what you can do make yourself comfortable. And if it is the certain place that somewhat makes you stressful, then try to avoid going there as much as possible.
- Words, Action, and Events: You may feel angry when your friend didn’t come to the appointment on time, or when other people react to what you say in a certain way. By knowing and acknowledging what kind of reactions or events that can make you upset, when that happens, you can look at the situation from the third-person view, and deal with it calmly.
- Causes: What made you angry? When you and your boyfriend don’t share the same value? Or when you expectation is postponed? Of course, you can’t just push your value, standards, the way of thinking on others. But knowing what can trigger your anger will help you get to know yourself better – how you think and feel – and then you will know how to react to the situation well.
By having your ANGRY DIARY, you will know what makes you angry, how you can deal with it, and how you can minimize your stresses. It helps you get to know yourself better and also helps you become a person that handles the anger well in this world that people are losing patience. Let’s start from today and live a happy life!